Jesus? Come to Pappa is what I'm thinking...

Yep, it's the "writting" by which you'll be able to tell us apart!
Another way to separate us is by the fact that my cohort invokes
"God" whereas I invoke "Dog".
Now don't be fooled folks, he sounds like we're all lined up on the
top of some skyscraper somewhere getting ready to take the leap
if we don't make some certain sales quota... In actuality, he's the
only one on the edge. I'm down here on the sidewalk with a piece
of chalk marking out a big "X".
Because I know that when you good people go to check the balance
in your bank account (assuming you don't bank with WaMu...
in which case you have no account,) you'll decide those

$60 Abercrummy and Filtch Tees are complete crap

and our Hiphazards start looking pretty damn good at less than 20 bucks!
Now... back to my day job on Wall Street!